1. PASTOR AND HIS MEMBER.
A pastor told his members to drop cash for the church according to their wives’ beauty. A member put $1, the pastor asked him, why? He replied, “pastor, if you see my wife you will give me balance. “
2. THE HUNTER AND THE ANTELOPE.
A hunter was returning from a very stressful hunting without any prey. On his way back, he saw a very big antelope in a big television screen in a cinema club. He shouted, “chei! see this idiot wey I dey find since morning, so na here you dey!” he shot at the screen “KPOA!” and he was caught to pay.
3. AND ALSO WITH YOU!
A rev. father entered the church on a Sunday morning and said to the congregation, “may the lord be with you all!” but the microphone was not working, so the congregation did not hear him, he observed it and said, “something is wrong with this microphone!” then the microphone worked immediately and the congregation responded, “and also with you!”
4. I YAM THAT I YAM!
When I was in primary school, our teacher asked James to make a sentence with YAM, he stood up and shouted with confidence, “my father is I YAM that I YAM!”
5. IN UR DUSTER!
The primary six teacher just drew the map of the world on the board, after teaching the scholars with it, she wiped it with the duster, then she asked, “Jack, now tell me, where is the atalantic ocean?” Jack stood up and answered, “excuse me madam, it is in your duster!”
6. ONE HUNDRED AND WANTY ONE!
When I was in primary one, our mathematics teacher came into the class, he wrote 121 on the board and told us that it was one hundred and twenty one, 131 he said it was one hundred and thirty one. Then he wrote 111 and told us to shout it, we shouted with confidence, “one hundred and wanty one!” the teacher was amazed.
7. FIRE SERVICE
When I was working with the fire service, our boss promised us that any one who saves a life will be promoted. One day, there was fire outbreak in a building, when we got there, a room was burning and a 90years old woman was inside. I rushed into the room, 5mins passed, 10mins, 30mins, 50mins passed, I did not come out. At the 60th minute, the 90years old woman carried me out. Then I was demoted.
8. FINALLY SHE SLEPT ALONE.
Last year, one prostitute died in my area in Nigeria. Her people were confused about what to be written on her grave. But at last they concluded and wrote, ‘FINALLY, SHE SLEPT ALONE’
9. GET BEHIND ME SATAN.
David’s mother warned him not to be swimming in the pool around their house. On Monday, she saw him swimming, when she asked him, he said it was Satan, then she said to him, “when the Satan comes to you, say to him, ‘get behind me Satan”. On Tuesday, she saw him again swimming and she became very annoyed with him and shouted, “David! So you disobeyed me!” then David replied, “Satan came to me, I told him to get behind me, he got behind me and pushed me into the pool and I started swimming”